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Silly Sausage

February 12, 2009

My dog is attacked!

Drunk on freedom after slipping out the open gate, she charges down the street. I run after her. She is a senior citizen and shaped like a barrel. And therefore is no match for a human in top fitness condition, an athlete at peak performance. Sadly, I am neither. Her little legs are a blur as she sprints madly ahead.

Suddenly she spots another dog around the corner. She swerves to intercept it, probably to shove her nose into its bum.

The other dog is a stray! Has my dog not learnt anything? Shoving one’s nose into just any bum simply isn’t done. Who knows what sort of plebeian nonsense she will be exposed to?

I try to stop her. “Nooo…,” I wheeze from where I’m doubled over in exhaustion. “Doooon’t…”

She ignores me and zeroes in on its bum. Perhaps she is being too forward. Or maybe it has been a victim of bum rape in the past. Whatever the reason, it is not letting my dog anywhere near its bum. It snarls a bloodcurling warning and lashes out with a tremendous swipe.

My dog yelps loudly and turns tail. She flees past me and I follow as best I can. When I get home to find her trembling in the yard, there is a steady trickle of blood dripping from her left eye.

There, I told her so.

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. vimalan permalink
    February 13, 2009 1:23 am

    i would pay good money to see you running after your dog. mua ha ha ha

  2. February 13, 2009 8:56 am

    Ohhh, poor baby! I just want to give her a big cuddle! (Pardon me, I have a very soft spot for ze sausages, having owned one in the past.)

    Also, I hear ya about that fitness thing. I think I can run about about 10 yards before my lungs start to seize up. When the zombies invade, I shall be the breathless, plump one at the back of the stampede that gets eaten first.

  3. February 13, 2009 2:12 pm

    What? You couldn’t outrun a sausage?!?

    Look at its legs!

    What happened to all your tennis training huh? Tsk tsk…

  4. Chubby Zebra permalink*
    February 13, 2009 7:23 pm

    vimalan: You mean you would just watch and not help?? Teruk betul!

    an9ie: Yes, I read about your dog! Is that a picture of him on your blog? And re. the zombie invasion, I think being eaten might be a welcome relief from the agony of tortured lungs and jelly-like legs.

    vincent: At my level of fitness now, every time I jump, my thighs wobble a bit. Does that explain what happened to all my tennis training? Lol!

  5. February 13, 2009 10:25 pm

    Nah, that’s someone else’s dog that I volunteered to look after while his owner was using an outside toilet (You can read the story at http://an9ie.blogspot.com/2007/02/i-love-doxiesmeeting-chopper.html)

    The thought of kidnapping him did cross my mind, though šŸ˜‰ He would have learned to love me eventually, I know it!

  6. Arliz permalink
    February 13, 2009 10:47 pm

    Dont feel bad babe. I can never catch Mango either. Usually what i do is pretend to steal and physically SIT in her bed…hence she would freak out that she would have no where to sleep and usually tries to tug the bed away (with me in it).

    You can see how that would work out. I miss that damn dog.

  7. Chubby Zebra permalink*
    February 15, 2009 2:02 pm

    an9ie: What a tragic, yet hilarious story! You poor girl. I always feel like my heart is broken when a dog spurns me. And I agree with you there, dog owners in Perth don’t know how close they are to losing their furry darlings when they leave them tied up outside the shops.

    Pumpkin pie: I can just imagine Mango trying to yank her bed away. I’m surprised you don’t have any pics of that yet. šŸ˜‰ Yes, they are quite silly dogs, aren’t they? I realised that the day I found Dash stuck between the french windows and the outside grill.

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