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Teething Problems

March 31, 2011

Hungry. So hungry.

It’s been two days since I had three teeth brutally yanked out. All those years of collecting little nuggets of wisdom for naught. If anything, I have those same nuggets to thank for the massive craters currently sending bolts of agony through my jaw.

Zap!

Zap!

It’s like there are tiny spiteful dwarves in there, swinging pickaxes at my exposed nerves. They must be singing as well, because there’s a cruel rhythm to the waves of pain…wait, that’s my heartbeat. THAT’S MY HEARTBEAT YOU’RE TORTURING ME IN TIME TO! Why are my teeth pulsing with pain? ARE TEETH MEANT TO PULSE? HAVE I BEEN DAMAGED BEYOND REPAIR?!

Also, I’m on drugs.

But it’s not just physical pain. It’s also been two days since I last ate properly. How I regret eating boring fried chicken for my last real meal. It wasn’t even KFC – I went to its poor cousin, Chicken Treat, instead! Since then, I’ve been living on soup and mousse. And not even getting full serves either, since half the meal ends up dribbling down my front anyway.

What I want, what I crave is MEAT!! I want a big fat slab of steak, still juicy and pink on the inside! I want dead pig in my mouth, full of fat and crispy salty crackling! I want to tear through sticky sweet chicken wings and devour bbq ribs, leaving nothing but a pile of bones and sauce smeared over my face. And lamb, ohhh lamb, how I long for your cutlets – so tasty and tender – with hide-and-seek bits for me to nibble off the bone.

I need to stop reading food blogs.

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. April 1, 2011 6:53 am

    Hooray! The CZ is back! I was wondering about you…

    Sorry about the teeth, Z. This too shall pass.

    xox, mk

    • April 1, 2011 3:33 pm

      Hooray Max, you’re back too!! Yes, feeling very sorry for myself with the teeth. But very thankful that I’ve got all the suckers out and won’t have to go through this again!!

  2. April 1, 2011 10:23 am

    I can’t believe you put up a picture of the cutest lamb ever only to skewer it figuratively in the face.

    SUNDAAAY ROAST!!!

  3. April 2, 2011 9:16 am

    Wow I haven’t been here in 3 years, and you haven’t updated much haha. Anyway, just dropping in cos I saw an incoming link from your blog and realized it was from a comment I wrote before. Yeap, your writing is still good πŸ˜€

    • April 10, 2011 7:43 pm

      Haha, well nice to see you again George! And thanks for the compliment! πŸ™‚

  4. May 31, 2011 9:48 pm

    It’s my theory that the lamb wants to be eaten. I woke up in a youth hostel in the middle-of-nowhere-north-wales, peered out my window and saw the cutest lamb that ever existed in the picnic area… asleep in the firepit!

    On a side note, its great to see you blogging again Jamarilla! I find that 0odles of giggeling often ensue after absorbing the words of your blog πŸ™‚ Cheers!

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