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He Will Regret This

February 7, 2010

I wake up feeling wretched.

I call out hoarsely to Badger, but it takes a few goes before he finally walks in with his bowl of cornflakes. Feeding his face instead of tending to his sick beloved. Typical.

“I feel awful,” I grump to him. I screw  my face up and squeeze a tear out to demonstrate just how desperately ill I am.

Concerned, he puts his bowl down and cuddles me.

“My throat’s sore,” I whine bravely tell him, even though it is clearly agony to talk. “It’s like a thousand needles swimming in lava.”

He turns back to his cornflakes. “I did warn you about eating that whole bag of prawn crackers.”

I am shocked by his callousness. “It’s much worse than that! The last time I had a sore throat, I lost my voice for a week!”

“That was only because you wouldn’t stop eating all that deep fried junk.”

“Noooooo! I’m really, really sick this time. I think I need to go to the emergency department. Maybe it’s glandular fever.” I manoeuvre my forehead underneath his hand. “See, feel how hot I am.”

“Well, you are a little warm…” he concedes, patting me soothingly. Finally, some sympathy! I try to squeeze another tear out.

“…but that’s probably because you’re stewing underneath all those blankets. Have a shower and you’ll feel much better.”

He gives me a final pat and returns to his newspaper downstairs, leaving me fuming in bed. Fine! I fling the covers off and stomp to the bathroom. I seethe through my shower then stand in front of the fan at full blast without drying off.

I’ll show him.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. February 7, 2010 11:17 am

    Oh, Jamesie. Thanks for the afternoon giggles. Hope you feel better soon!

  2. February 7, 2010 5:57 pm

    Thanks Rae! Maybe I should stay away from prawn crackers next time.

  3. February 7, 2010 6:11 pm

    Awww. Always loving the Badger.

  4. LIZ permalink
    February 7, 2010 8:37 pm

    There there my love. All will be alright in the world….sans the evil prawn crackers. How dare you tempt my beloved!

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