Squeegee Menace

I’m not looking forward to transferring my driving license to an Australian one. It’s not the tests that I’ll have to take again, and it’s not the confusion of whose right of way it is at a three-way uncontrolled intersection (my right of way has never failed me). It’s what I’ll have to face at traffic lights once I start driving.

Squeegeers.

I don’t like Squeegeers . You know who I mean, the teenagers who lurk behind bushes at an intersection. The ones who waylay cars the moment the traffic light turns red, leaping out with soapy squeegee in hand before you’ve even rolled to a proper stop.

They irritate me.

I hate how it doesn’t matter if your windshield is already so clean that you could lick across the entire surface and go, “Mmm, cleaaaan” in self-satisfaction. Squeegeers will expertly avoid eye-contact, ignore all frantic hand-waving from inside the car, and throw themselves bodily onto your bonnet before giving the glass a few half-hearted swipes. Then they’ll wait expectantly for you to hand money over (notes only, if you please). There’s no question of not paying for the unasked-for service because under that smug smirk lurks the threat of having your window smashed in and being bopped on the head with a sudsy squeegee. Then off they go, launching themselves at their next victim, trying to terrorise as many drivers as they can before the light turns green.

There’s also the risk of being run over every time they spring out the instant the lights change. When an amber light just means “GO FASTER!!” to me some people, chances are the car won’t stop in time. Really, people should be able to flout the law without the inconvenience of Squeegeer-shaped dents in your previously unmarked car. It’s hard enough to keep an eye out for police cars and cameras without having to worry about unwelcome surprises clad in basketball jerseys as well. How ridiculously inconsiderate.

Someone really should write a strongly-worded letter to the authorities and get this sorted out.