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Heightus Minimus

June 22, 2008

The doors open and the crowd surges onto the train.

I want a seat but I misjudged where the train doors would end up. The girl in front of me gets the last seat. Boo!

At least I get to stand in the aisle instead of the middle bit where everyone’s squashed together. How silly. Why would they choose to pack themselves like sardines? Surely it would be more comfortable if they moved out into the aisles. Some people really don’t think.

Someone taps me on the arm. It is the sardine closest to me. “Excuse me, could you move further up the aisle? Only you’re blocking the rest of us here.”


(It is important to point out here that there are bags on the floor blocking a bit of the aisle too. So it is not my chubbiness that is taking up the whole aisle. Just so we’re clear.)

“Sorry, but couldn’t you move around me? I’m getting off soon and I don’t want to be stuck at the back of the aisle.”

The sardine rolls her eyes and maneuvers her way around the bags and me with some difficulty. However the next sardine refuses to make the effort. He settles for glaring at me and coughing meaningfully instead. How inconsiderate.

I start to feel a little anxious. I’m not actually getting off anytime soon. I would move farther down but there aren’t any poles left down the aisle to hang onto. And the handholds, well, the truth is the handholds look a little…high. I’m not sure that I can reach them without looking like a six-year-old on monkey bars.

I could, of course, just try to grab a handhold. But the thought of potentially having to tiptoe makes me cringe. I chance a quick glance around, trying to ignore the irate glares directed at me. This would be a lot easier if someone my height was already using a handhold. Or if I could judge spatial distance better. But I’m the shortest one on the train and have the spatial ability of a rock. Boo!

I regret not eating my vegetables as a child.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. June 26, 2008 9:16 pm

    Poor gal 🙂

    What you should do next time is find the nearest tall hunk hanging on – then hang on to him. Bat your eyelashes for permission. All straight guys like to feel big and strong.

  2. June 27, 2008 6:08 pm

    Got milk?

  3. Chubby Zebra permalink
    June 30, 2008 8:24 pm

    Paul: Groping counts as hanging on, yes?

    Laynie: Unfortunately, I detested milk as a child too. 😦 Oh foolish youth.

  4. July 10, 2008 3:26 pm

    I enjoyed your writing style and I’ve added you to my Reader. Keep these posts coming.

  5. Chubby Zebra permalink
    July 15, 2008 8:03 pm

    SEO Boot Camp: Thanks for the compliment!

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